Sunday, September 13, 2009

Open Letter to Hollywood

Dear Hollywood,

You blow my mind. You really do. You can create bomb explosions, alien invasions, and miniature to-scale model cities. So I must ask you this:

Why on earth can't you use/create a realistic fake wine???

I imagine that, after myriad takes, you simply cannot expect your actors to guzzle glass after glass of the delicious grape juice (unless your goal is to have them slurring their words, in which case: may I suggest tequila?). I understand that the only logical thing to do is use some food coloring & water. But you can spend millions of dollars on technical production, computer animation, etc., yet you cannot (or will not) invest enough time, money and/or talent to come up with a believable fake wine?

Case in point: In the last week alone, I have seen episodes of Desperate Housewives (season 3) and Californication (season 1), watched the movie Wall Street, and noticed this totally amateur discrepancy: a green wine bottle pouring out a liquid that could only be described as a rosé. Zinfangirl has had a lot of wine in her life, and has yet to ever see a rosé in dark glass bottles. Why would it be? Is darker glass not reserved specifically for wines that are meant to be stored at room temperature? And is rosé not supposed to be chilled, as in NOT stored at room temp? Surely if you can make audiences believe you just blew up downtown Manhattan, you can make them believe that the characters are drinking the real juice. The stuff you're pouring looks like Kool-Aid, and your target audience is well past that point in their lives (unless there's vodka added in).

Jeez, Hollywood, don't you PAY people to catch these things? And if you do, by all means... I'm available for the position. Clearly, I notice the little things better than your current staff. I'll even work for wine, provided it isn't a rosé from a green bottle.

Sincerely,
Zinfangirl

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