Review: Wine Tycoon

ZinfanGirl considers herself fortunate that she does not tend to get sucked into time-consuming mindless games. She does not think twice about blocking Farmville invites on Facebook, and rarely picks up a video game controller (except Rock Band. She does love Rock Band). But she has always loved controlling things, which explains her lifelong love of the Sims games. So imagine her delight when a Sims-like game for wine-os hit the shelves...

Many hours were played, many liters of wine bottled, many regions of France explored. So why oh why does this game suck so bad?!

Any wine tycoon, real or fictional, can sum this up in one word: bugs. A freeze here, a glitch there-- these are all forgiveable flaws. I understand that Wine Tycoon is not backed by some game giant like Electronic Arts and therefore shouldn't be compared to such multi-million dollar standards. But y'know, when playing a game, I kind of take for granted that I'll be able to save. I have yet to be able to do so in Wine Tycoon. Sure the Save Game menu is there. It's right next to the Load Game menu. But type in a name, click "save" and try, just TRY to find it again. Good luck.

I did enjoy playing around the various regions of France (yes, the game is based entirely in France). Naturally my heart fluttered when, in the description of Champagne, I saw my former town of Troyes mentioned by name. Having an interactive outlet to help me memorize learn about different French varietals, wines and regions is really great. For a lower-budget game, the graphics aren't bad. I amused myself for hours trying to earn enough money to pay my workers, buy the best equipment possible, and protect my grapes from the Four Ills of Wine Tycoon: Pests, Overgrowth, Weeds and Soil Infertility.

So much potential, it breaks my ZinfanHeart. Aside from the Save issue (seriously, I still can't wrap my head around that one), there are a few other bugs. For instance, while playing in the Burgundy region, I got a request to sell some St Aubin, aged 2 years. Yet in the "Blending" section of the game, it is impossible to age St. Aubin. "Some wines should not be aged," it says. True enough, but then why, dear Wine Tycoon, are you ASKING for it?! In the "Career Mode" option, I am only able to play in Alsace. Other bugs include: some wines having $0 value (I had a batch of wine X-- forget which one it was-- and I would be asked to sell this wine for $0 no matter how great/small the quantity), some vineyards being unresponsive to treatments (yet they grew just fine anyway), and the mysterious hiring of workers (no, dammit, I said ONE bottler!). So, that's my technical opinion.

I was also bummed about not being able to participate more in the growing process. You pick a vineyard, pick a grape to plant, and that's it. But as most wine-o's know, there's much more to it than that. Vines on top of a hill are different than wines grown below. Direction plays a role too. And ZinfanGirl can attest first-hand that the weather is not uniform throughout France, which Wine Tycoon leads you to believe. It does not snow often in Provence, so please stop making it look like Christmastime in Troyes.

While there is different equipment you can buy for each step of the wine making, the only thing differentiating them is price, production and size. Barrels are barrels, no wood or steel. I know there are different presses on the market too. And why lump all "weeds" and "pests" together? Give the noble rot some love, yo!

So, my bottom line: Is it worth $20? I have certainly made stupider purchases in my lifetime. In the grand scheme of things, $20 isn't much for a few hours' of mindless entertainment-- hell, that's cheaper than a movie ticket + popcorn, and unlike going to the movies you can play Wine Tycoon naked from the comfort of your own home. But don't get your hopes up: other than a concise lesson on French wines, this game will not fulfill your dream to be a Wine Tycoon. Sorry, kids. They tried. They really did.

Wine Tycoon by Got Game Entertainment

P.S.- I do have an email in to their customer support about the Save issue. I will post back here ASAP if/when I get a response.